Friday, September 11, 2009

The Red Photon Collector

Hi I'm SUG'S trusty side kick "Red". Or is SUG MY SIDE KICK? Some people refer to me as a cannon, but I'm really a telescope(photon collector) with a very colorful history. I feel really good today because SUG gave me some new bushings on my rocker box(seen in the pic along with my tubular body and plumbing piece focuser) so now I can glide and stick to the fun celestial objects he shows his visitors. I live to(along with SUG) gather photons and disperse them in peoples eyeballs! It is so much fun to hear the laughter and joy of their discoveries. I am kinda old fashioned (like SUG) and not very fancy(also like SUG). My optics are a bit temperamental(like SUG) to line up with my old push/pull wood mirror cell and thick metal secondary holder. And my focuser unit is a work of art(not like SUG) - a metal draw tube mounted in a plastic plumbing piece with a plastic washer. I have a thick cardboard body and my mount is a particle board box held together with bolts and glue! I can eat photons all the time and never gain any weight while SUG has to watch what he eats so he can graze and feed his high metabolic rate throughout the day. People ask me all the time if I take pictures? - yes and I would be glad to pose for you - do I automatically track the sky?- yes, but only if you move me - was I expensive? - yes, but only if you had no money - do I see aliens/UFO's? - no, never do but there's a first time for everything - what happens if you look at the sun? - I get get really hot and uncomfortable and so will you. I live in SUG's garage along with his other telescopes and in the back of his SUV. I love to get taken out except when other seasoned astronomers make fun of me and people tug and grab me without SUG's permission and I get knocked over by kids out of control or drunk folks! SUG and I have shared so many fun moments together by ourselves and with others. We love doing open/globular cluster surveys together - and yes outreach! SUG and I are a perfect match, simple without pretense, built to go the distance, and we love the universe.

Have SUG tell you about my really hi-tech orange plastic milk crate he places me on - I'm fancy!


Marc said...

At least you are called "Red". My owner and his friends make fun of me all the time because they believe since my arrival, all I do is attract clouds or they prey upon the uninformed and call me a Tasco Tonto which is so not true. I'M NOT A TASCO!


(Tele Vue) Pronto aka "The Starship"

Sidewalk Universe said...

Luv it Marc! Is this the famous "cloud attractor"?

Marc said...

I see my Pronto needed to vent against it's dellusional owner and his friends.

There was a time just after I bought the Pronto back in the spring the weather just went bad for about a week or more leading to the myth my newest buddy just attracted clouds or what was called on Facebook as "The Curse of the Tonto"...

Drive-by Astronomy said...

Dear "Red" ,
I came upon your blog and thought it would be nice to get together some day. We too have experienced "telescopism" and "Telescopist" attitudes from some individuals.
I'm an Asian 10" "Black" Newtonian and my best friend who is a American 101mm "White" TV refractor from NY would love meet you some day to collaborate on some clear night mutual observing sessions. Additionally, we have a 5" "Yellow" refractor colleague, a Konus (please do hold that against him)who would also love to join the group. Along with the Canadian Pronto I think we would have a wonderfully diverse observing group.
Together we would definitely attract many clear skies and a multitude of visitors to our eyepieces. Pronto you should know that we would offer you a warm welcome to our group even if you were a Tasco, even a Tasco from Canada!
We look forward to hearing more about your observing sessions with that nice fellow SUG. He sure does keep you busy!
Could we become "Telecopes Without Borders"?

Drive-by Astronomy said...

Hi "Red",
I'm a 60mm H-alpha scope from Mexico. Even though I have an extremely narrow band of interest I could show you some amazing daytime fun.! I really dig your plumbing piece focuser. Contact my man Drive-by for details.

Sidewalk Universe said...

Dear Telescope Friends - thanks for welcoming me into your fold of modern design, materials, and superb optical quality - even those with a narrow band of interest! Yes I will be a odd ball amongst you but the stories of starry vistas I could tell.

Starship no one can give a view of the starry background like you - and such portability! So what if your owner has a new SCT - your his scope when he needs a fix! But I have noticed your clan mate long focal refractor gets taken out a bunch!

To the somewhat large clan of optical excellence in NY. I realize that Mr.Dr.Drive By has a vast selection to choose from and that all of you are vying from his attention. In fact SUG tells me there is a SCT in the mix to. Be patient my friends for the Dr. has shared many a fine moments with you all and it is not quantity of time but quality - you must deliver the goods at your appointed time!

Marc said...

Hello Red

I am the great constant one, the one they call "The Grand Old Refractor" or "The Lady of the Stars". I'm much older, slower and my condition has deteriorated somewhat, but I was always there when I was needed the most. I was born during the great rebirth of the Refractor. I took my place amongst the achromats, but they do not notice that I am one.

For a while I was much maligned because I was misaligned but my owner, amidst the Pronto and the SCT, aligned me and I am better than ever, better than the Pronto.

I await to be restored to my former glory someday soon and join you, Red in discovering the cosmos like never before.

Sidewalk Universe said...

Dear G.O.R, yes indeed you are on the way to the top of your game. Us experienced scopes have alot to offer. Glad your lenses are in focus and your mount is stable.I am told that you also got a new tripod tray - what is it like to have 3 legs and stand so tall, does your counter weight bug you, do you get along with the other guys with lenses in your house? What is it like to see purple around bright stuff? SUG's 150mm Achromat never talks about this. Because I'm a f/4 I get lots of coma but SUG loves me just the same.

My owner got to view through your larger cousin the 40"Yerkes a few years back and wants to buy the thing. But were would he put it?

NiteSkyGirl Blog said...

drunk folks ?????? WOW hilarious!

hi RED photon collector I'm a skyquest 12 inch dob named Ambrosia , would you tell NSG to stop screaming when she looks into my eyepiece at the Hercules cluster? imean holy meteor she has been looking at it since beginning of the year . if i hear her say ' wow it's so huge in my 12 inch i'm going to clobber her. ps ..her other telescope ..8 inch dob named story.. how do i roll it off a cliff?
she takes em out now and then to relive past times with it but sheeze i can get er there closer!!

Sidewalk Universe said...

Dear Ambrosia, sounds like you are giving your owner the show of shows. She's an astronomer with a kids heart - what do you expect? What is worse is to have your owner drool on you as they observe, AND TOUCH YOU WITH GREASY FINGERS FROM ALL HE SNACKS HE DEVOURERS!(Wonder who that could be?) Have you collected any coffee stains yet? If not you will have some soon!